Tell me what you want, what you really, really want!

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.”

Walt Disney

Okay, so this deployment has begun......

I'd like to share with you what I really want during this time.


*I want calories not to count, I want my clothes to always fit.

*I want to think about exercising and lose weight.

*I want a free pass from the teachers, administrators, and coaches for not signing said forms, for a disholved kid and for general absent-mindedness

*I want to have the power to sleep for 5 hours but for it to feel like a full 8.

*I want to be able to clean the house top to bottom in 30 minutes.

*I want the Jetsons refridgerator where it's automatically stocked.

*I want my plants and my dog to get their own water.

*I want square meals to appear on my table.

*I'd also like the dishwasher to load itself and for pans to dry themselves and crawl back in the cupboard.

*I want the garbage man and the recycling man to take my trash bin out to the curb and sort my recyclables even if our forget.  (My garbage man will slow down coming down the street when he sees me rush around to the side of the house to retrieve my bin and will wait.)

*I want every light to turn green when I approach.

*I want my alarm clock to automatically set itself.

*I want the clothes store to come to my house so I don't have to drag these 3 boys to the store.

*I want the US government to rent me a nanny or a driver.

*I want the US government to pay me for my part.

*I want people to just in general have more patience and understanding for someone like me.

*I want the internet to ALWAYS work properly.

*I want nothing to break down for the next 6 months.

*I want immunity from all illnesses!

*I want the hairdresser, dentist and doctor to come to my house.

*I want all sport activities to get rained out when I just don't feel like going.

*I want the bus to be late when I need it to be and early when I need it to be.

*I want at least one celebrity to come to my house on my birthday to make it not so crummy.  I am pretty sure Peyton Manning will be free in May.

*I want a free vacation.....without kids is okay.

*I want the government to fly in 3 girlfriends at any point during this deployment....maybe I should ask for a private jet.

*I want a barrista fixing my coffee every morning, in my kitchen.

*I want the dirty clothes to get themselves to the washer, dryer and back to their cloests or drawers.

*I want automatically clean floors.

*I want the weather to be to my liking every day.

*I want someone to invent the technology they used in Star Trek to transport someone from one place to another.

*I want no overdue charges at Red Box.

*I want fresh flowers every day.

*I want a room at the ER on standby, just for me......and no wait.

*I want a get out of jail free card for any speeding tickets I may get or for any infraction really.

*I want the movies to come to me.

*I want a massage every night.

*I want valet service everywhere I go and for that Princess Parking sign to be near the door.

*I want a tiara for every occasion and every outfit.

I think you get the point, these are the things that would really help me when all I really want is for him to be home.  He's irreplaceable.  Until the day he comes home I'll have to dream of all of these things and be satisfied with the little glimpses of happiness that show themselves everyday.  My kids are healthy, we have a wonderful home, I've met some amazing people I can count on, I have a job I love and I live in the greatest country all in part because of my husband and his sacrifice.  I wouldn't trade this life for anything........not even for all the Princess tiaras in the world.

Happy New Year Message.....

Work for a cause, not for applause
Live life too express not to impress
Don't strive to make your presence noticed just make your absence felt.

Hey ya'll
I will make this brief.  Just wanted to say good bye to 2011 and hello to the possibilities of 2012.  2011 saw me saying good bye to my best friend, Jenny and my grandfather who I was very close with.  I also said farewell to friends as we moved.  I know there are things I can expect in the coming year, some things that I know are going to happen with out my control.   I want to blog more and I hope to find the time to do so.  Hopefully my well of witty has not been run dry and I can come up with some witty things to say and write about.  So stay tuned........

Let me introduce myself.....

The value of identity of course is that so often with it comes purpose. ~Richard Grant

I have been doing some soul searching, looking for my life’s purpose.  I want to share with you what I have found out about myself.

I am….

I am a child of God who has been saved through the blood of Jesus Christ.  He is the only Judge I’m concerned about.

I am a daughter who has learned about hard work and the importance of family.

I am a wife who is loved even when I’m not lovable.

I am a mother who tries to bring my best every, often fails but always tries again the next day.

I am a friend who tries to be loyal.  Who will stand shoulder to shoulder with those who need me.

I am fiercely protective of my family. This includes my extended family and anyone that I consider family.

I hate injustice and try my best to speak up when I feel someone is being wronged.

I will tell you when I think you are wrong.

I’m not book smart but I’m experience smart.  So, I don’t need you to make me feel like I’m stupid.

I am a military spouse; it’s a blessing, not a curse.  It doesn’t define me though.  I’m much more than that.  I don’t wear his rank.

I believe there is good in everyone.

I love a good cup of coffee in the morning and a good glass of wine in the evening.

Bailey’s brings back a lot of good memories.

I am called to be where I am right now but that calling may change.

I love lighthouses.

I may have A.D.D.

I am passionate.

I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I prefer dark chocolate.

I believe Reese’s peanut butter cups are the perfect candy.

I want to make it to all 50 states before I die.

I want to be like my grandmothers when I grow up.

I want to learn to quilt, play guitar and make my own wine.

One day I want to own my own construction business with my husband.

I believe Idaho has some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve ever seen. And if God sees fit maybe I’ll get to live there again.

My dream is to have a vacation home on a lake in Idaho, in the mountains where my boys and their families can come for the holidays.

I am a chameleon and can be whatever the situation calls for.

I don’t have a fear of heights but have a fear of falling.

I use to be an x ray tech but I doubt I ever will be again.

I try to find the joy in all circumstances.

My boys will be my greatest accomplishment.

I now wish I would have become an architect and it thrills me that my son wants to be one.

One day I’ll ditch my SUV for a sports car.

I want a 55 Chevy Nomad.

I still don’t think I’m a grown up.

I love leaving positive comments in establishments.

I still have friends I’ve known since Kindergarten but I have new friends that feel like I’ve known them all my life.

I hate the phrase, “You need to change your attitude.”  I like my attitude just the way it is.

Sarcasm is a gift.

A good sense of humor is my spiritual gift.

I believe there is power in music.  I like anything from Christian music to AC/DC.

I have very little tolerance for stupidity.

I collect quotes.

I’m not afraid to say I’m sorry when I’ve messed up.  Apologizing is a very brave thing to do. 

I say goodnight every night to my best friend because she’s in heaven.  As much as I miss her I know she’s finally free of all her ills.

I think my sister is funnier than and more creative than me.

Volleyball is the best sport on earth followed by NFL football.

I love the Colts.  I’ll cheer for the Saints, the Packers, the Butler Bulldogs, Boise State, and maybe Purdue and Ball state but I’m not holding my breath.  NASCAR intrigues me.

Christmas Eve is my favorite night of the entire year.  I love Christmas mornings.

Teachers and coaches have been some of the most influential people in my life.

I didn’t use to like the color pink.

I’m anything BUT a Princess.  I think I’m special, not better.

I am a secret iCarly fan.

Some of my favorite shows are the Middle, Modern Family, and Burn Notice. And I miss Friday Night Lights.

Sweet Home Alabama is my all time favorite movie.

I love musicals.

I don’t really know what I want to do when I grow up.

One day I will write a book.

I don’t argue politics or religion.

I respect people who respect me.

I own a gun permit.

Blue is my favorite color followed by grey.

A simple hot fudge sundae is my favorite ice cream.

I think what people do speaks louder than words.

I like to ride around with the music turned up loud.

I believe my situational awareness is above par.

I take the best parts of the people around me and incorporate them in my own life.

Forgiveness is my biggest weakness.

I’m not easily offended.

I am better than I once was.

I have a tendency to be lazy or to be ahead of the curve, there’s no in between.

I’m okay with not conforming.

The character trait I admire the most in people is integrity.

I am a bad judge of first impressions.

I wish I weighed 20 lbs less.

I still get nervous watching the movie Hoosiers.

I’m not good at using a glue gun, cooking with yeast, sewing or ironing.

I don’t like tomatoes but I love salsa.  Mushrooms make me cringe!

And as you know I hate math.

I’m sure there are a couple more hundred things I could add to this list but this is a good start and I’ll add to it from time to time.  What’s important is that your list is different and that’s what’s cool.  We are none the same, thank goodness, how boring would this world be if we were the same and had the same views and beliefs.  Life is about figuring out who you are and embracing it….and that’s what I’m learning to do.

A tribute to my favorite veteran........

Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women in the service of our country can never be repaid.  They have earned our undying gratitude.  America will never forget their sacrifices. 
                                                                                                  Harry S. Truman

This is Andrew J. Cairns when he was in the Army.  I like to refer to him as Grandpa Andy.  Andy enlisted using his brother's birth certificate because he himself was not old enough to enlist....at least that is how the legend goes.  When I asked him about it once, he just laughed and smiled, saying "Things were different way back then."

Andy would serve in a variety of duties as an MP.  He served Stateside guarding war trains and also in Africa and Italy.  He received a Purple Heart, of which the family did not learn of until the last few years of his life.  9 months previous to his death I asked him about receiving his Purple Heart.  He was humble and modest about it but told me the story.  He had never told anyone because he didn't feel as if it was a big deal. That was Grandpa....

I miss Grandpa, he died this past year and there's not a day that doesn't go by that I'm not reminded of him.  He wasn't my real grandfather, he was Chris's but we had a bond, one in which he acknowledged me as his own.  He was everything a grandfather should be.  The flag that draped his coffin and was presented to my husband sits on my entertainment center.  It's a daily reminder of him and his legacy.  My husband and my boys are Grandpa's legacy.  I see him through them.

Grandpa rarely talked about his time in service, he was a humble man.  He spent his life working and owning his own construction company and then working for the Corp of Engineers until he retired.

Grandpa was the real deal, a son, a brother, a husband who loved dearly, a father who loved and lost, and a grandfather who inspired his grandchildren and  great-grandfather that left an impression.  It's one of the reasons his grandson decided to earn a degree in construction AND join the military.  But also we remember him as the quiet soldier and always the proud Veteran.  This Veteran's Day takes on a whole new meaning.  He is no longer with us but his legacy lives on.......

Honor a Veteran in your life.  Happy Veteran's Day.

Bump, Set, Spike!

I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle-victorious." --Vince Lombardi

When I was 15 I joined a team, a group, a sisterhood of sorts when I stepped into Hell Week. It was the one week in the summer when everything else was put aside.  When twice a day, I gave everything I had to a game.  I'm a huge fan of Friday Night Lights, the movie, the tv show, the atmosphere.  But years ago I lived for other nights, game nights.  I lived for volleyball.  I trained all year long, all the other sports I played were for the volleyball season.  In less you were in that gym, you may not understand and it's hard to describe.

My coach was Tom Finicle, not a guy that at first glance you would be intimidated by.  But he could yell and he could motivate.  He motivated with balls being thrown at your head at speeds paralleled with major league pitchers.  He motivated with wind sprints, running laps and if you were lucky you got to carry a medicine ball while you ran.  He motivated with inspirational quotes on t shirts, old ball skins, and letters sent to players during study hall.  He hated failure but he also hated winning when you hadn't won by playing your best.locker room until he stopped his ranting. 

The volleyball teams were always successful and I guess that fueled the hard work.  You knew you were on a winning team.  We were as respected as the boys' football team.  It also meant that certain things were expected of you especially as a senior.  As a senior you were expected to lead the underclassman and if they screwed up the seniors were held accountable.  We fought amongst ourselves but we also fought for each other.  One time during a game against an opposing team, I saw an ex-boyfriend.  He was there cheering on his new girlfriend on the other side of the net from me.  I pointed this out to a friend in the front row, who had a wicked spike, and a bad temper.  She asked for the next ball and when it came to her she spiked it into the chest of the 'new girlfriend' and she left the game in tears.  He approached me after the game and asked if that was intentional....I of course had no idea what he was suggesting. Anyway, we took care of each other.

1991 Seniors

You know how I hate Math?  Well, I wasn't very good in school at all, but Volleyball was my motivation.  I trained in the class room so I could train in the gym!  I wish I had that same body and was in that good of shape and could still wear spandex like I did back then!  It wasn't all bad stuff.  We had great camaraderie.  We were friends off the court.  My favorite thing was to have random sleepovers.  At the end of the game, in the locker room we would start planning.  Our parents usually obliged.  They were very supportive and were friends in the stands.  It was great to be part of a team, a successful one at that.

So what did I learn from Volleyball and Fin......A couple years ago I poured out my heart on paper and shared some of this with Fin, I thought it was important for him to know what Volleyball did for me.

What I learned...

*to curse....I know it's not nice but I remember during my 100th windsprint of the practice that I uttered my first curse word, but it was a long time ago. ;)

*weight control and the importance of exercise......I never wanted to run with the medicine ball and I made it thru 3 years without doing so until the last practice my senior year.  I can still hear Fin yelling....

*it takes an entire roll of tape to wrap an ankle......That ankle thing I'm dealing with started because of VB.

*how to mouth off......enough said.

*hard work pays off but not in ways you think....I'm not talented by nature, everything takes work.

*how to stick up for what is right....because at one time a Coach stood up for me.

*discipline......it was drilled into me.

*when the going gets tough the tough gets going......VB training was perfect training for my life as a military wife.  Sometimes you get bombarded with balls such as deployments, moving, or having babies without your spouse present.  You experience the highs and the lows.  And more than once you face your fears and learn what you are made of.

You see, volleyball was more than a game.  First of all, we were a sorority.  We had an understanding.  It was a sisterhood that to this day over a 25 year history of playing for Finicle still stands. 

Volleyball prepared me for the game of 'Life'.  I of course didn't realize this until about 20 years later.  Volleyball and life in general are interchangeable.  I'm grateful for the lessons it taught me while doing thru some of the hardest years of my life.  Some people say that sports are just that, sports.  But I think for every coach out there they need to understand that it's more than just a sport, they are preparing these kids for the big game of Life: winning, lose, success, failure, hard work, pride, discipline.  Tonight the VolleyKnights played in the semi-finals, no matter the score or the outcome, I am a part of that legacy.  It was and still is one of my finest hours, but then again I guess you'd have to have played the game to understand.






 

It's all routine in this house.......

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. ~Franklin P. Jones

Recently, I watched my wedding video.  At a wedding shower, I claimed I wanted 5 kids and wanted to own a flower shop.  Wow!  Was I wrong about both of those things?  For starters, I know nothing about flowers or plants, my thumb is black.  And secondly, 5 kids.....what was I thinking?

I guess what I should have been was an orthopaedic doctor or a doctor period but I think that involves Math and you all know how I feel about Math!  These kids have tested my patience but they have tested my resolve.....let me give you the run down.

All three were born with a dimple at the end of their spines that had to be ultrasound.  All three were cleared.

Trevette was healthy until he was 18 months of age and then BAM he was sick.  2 years of intensive medical care concluded he had full blown asthma.  Today it's not an issue.

Trevette had 2 surgeries to remove his adenoids and tonsils.  One additional surgery repaired numerous cavities he had caused by allergy medicine.

Guthrie spent the first 4 hours of his life in the NICU. He did not cry when he was born. Now that I know him it may have been that he was just too lazy to cry.

We went for quite some time before we faced a medical issue.  Trevette decided to have a seizure (the first one we knew of) on a cross country flight from Boise, Idaho to Chicago.  I was never so freaked in my life.  Fortunately we were on a United flight with a neurologist and 3 very good flight attendants.  United accommodated us with food and tickets.  Of course we got to get off the plane first with 200 strangers staring at us.  And I must say having half of the Chicago Fire Dept waiting for you as you deboard a plane is an experience.  Did you know that they stop airplanes taxiing when an ambulance is present?

Our next crisis was just that when on a May day, Superman, Cohen decided watching a trash truck go by the house was not exciting enough and he fell out of a second story window.  There's a point in a crisis where you say to yourself, "This is going to be a bad day."  I said that to myself as I called my husband to yell at him for leaving the window open and then he calmly told me to call 911.  I didn't want to call 911, it was going to ruin my day!  I placed the call and moments later heard the town fire siren bellow and then minutes later I could hear the ambulance sirens as it came nearer.  There is something surreal about an ambulance backing up to your door and having your dining room table used as triage.  Once again I found myself in the back of an ambulance.  By the way, you all look funny when you're driving behind an ambulance.  Long story short, Cohen was life flighted to a trauma center, that was a new experience.  I'll never forget that feeling of being led up to the helipad and the looks of concern I received.  There's something surreal about paramedics giving you updated medical reports in  your head set. In the end, he was fine and had a follow up that revealed narrowing of the spinal cord but has no ill affects of it today.

We went a couple more months and another call to the paramedics was made when one of T's seizures was not so routine.  Having 7 grown men in a small bedroom was quite a sight. 

We went naively about with our lives until one Halloween Day when a dog attacked Guthrie as he slept on the floor (not my dog, not my house).  It was a day that I counted on a good friend.  My husband was thousands of miles away.  Guthrie had many staples, one surgery and still bares the scars.  In the process I found out who I can count on and who my friends are.

A few months later, Cohen had dental surgery and then 4 days before moving we called the paramedics when he whacked his head and we couldn't stop the bleeding.  An ambulance ride and staples and Humpty Dumpty was back together again.  It's a funny thing when paramedics recognize you!  I hear since we left San Antonio and Dover that they have laid off medical personnel.

I was living blissfully in Rhode Island, proud of myself for having no ER visits when a morning call from the school nurse brought me back down to earth.  Guthrie had fallen off the playground equipment and broken his arm.  A cast?  This was new to me.

3 days later, count them, 1......2......3 days later, the same school nurse called to tell me Trevette had been injured.  He broke his nose. Good friends were there to answer my call for help and to laugh with us when they brought a huge roll of bubble wrap.  It's coming in handy.

Here I sit waiting for a call from Ortho.  I'm just glad I'm in a new state where they don't know my history or my name......yet. My friend Julie and I really should share a parking spot at the E.R.  I don' t like this drama, these life interruptions.  Thank you for my family and friends who shake their head, give me their condolences and then humor me!......Oh! and they don't judge me!  Life is never dull.....yet it's very routine for this house.  Good thing I have a good sense of humor!  But in reality I'll take the bumps and bruises any day......

Grandmas are the sweetness of life......

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudolph Giuliani

I know we all have the best grandmother in the world.  My grandmothers Julia and Louise were two of the best.  I accredit this to their maturity (both were older when they had my parents).  They had lived through the Depression and each knew heartache. I spent a lot of time with both as they were my main caregivers growing up.  I loved being sick because it meant a day with them.

My grandmother Julia Margaret grew up in a modest upbringing.  It was mixed with farmers and rich aunts.  At one time she worked as a school cafeteria worker, an occupation both of my grandmothers held.  Grandma Julia recorded her life from her Freshman year in high school until her death in 1985.  Those journals gave me much insight to who my grandmother was.  I was 12 when she died and I only remember the happy go lucky Grandmother.  I've laughed and cried with her in those journals.  In 12 years she taught me much but 26 years later she's still teaching me.  I guess I've become reminicent because in a month my cousin will marry his love and Grandma's family will be there to celebrate.  It's a good time to remember her.

What my Grandmother Julia has taught me....

• The fine art of washing dishes.  Yes, there is a skill to it and it requires a lot of laughter.  My grandfather always wondered what we were laughing about at the kitchen sink.
• Nothing beats cold sheets on a hot summer night
• How to make a proper shoe fly sandwich and that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich tastes better when you cut it into triangles.
• How to play Chinese checkers and the peg game (the one you play when you go to Cracker Barrel)
• How to play the organ.  She always had a small electric organ in the attic.
• She's the first person who ever gave me a cup of coffee.  I still have the cups she served me in.
• That the extra crust from making a pie is the best part with a little butter and cinnamon.
• Adventure was everywhere whether it be the laundry mat or a walk to the creek. She had a great imagination.
• Hard work and laughter go hand in hand.  I never remember her taking anything too serious.
• Laughter and a sense of humor look beautiful on a person.
• Blood does not make family.  I have 2 cousins that were step cousins but I've never thought of them like that.  Grandma told me one time that she didn't care, they were her grand kids and she would never refer to them as her step grandchildren, her grandchildren they were.  I hope they have always felt that way.
• Complaining is unattractive.  She NEVER complained.  She didn't feel well the 2 months leading up to her death.  The only way we ever knew this was when we read her diary after she died and she mentioned not feeling well.  She died 2 days after my 12 birthday unexpectedly of a bad heart.
• I'm sure there are a million other things I've learned from her.......

I miss her, I didn't realize how much.  The one thing I do have is my mother, who every day reminds me more and more of my grandmother. I'm glad my boys have her. I know I'll be a good grandmother because I had good role models.  I know Grandma has been watching me for the last 26 years, I hope she's proud.